Here’s the truth

Here’s the truth, right now, parenting is hard. My very chilled out, easy baby is now a very needy, often difficult 13month old. I’m 7 months pregnant and my husband works interstate 85% of the week. I feel like I’m not wining much these days.

Here’s the truth, I feel like I’ve won the lottery if she plays by herself for more than 10 minutes at a time. Then I feel guilty.

Here’s the truth, I know she watches too much TV because she now hands me the remote when we are in the lounge room and persists until ABC Kids is on. She also hums the tune of Sesame Street.

Here’s the truth, I dread breakfast, lunch and dinner because 99% of what I give her is rejected and thrown on the floor. I want to give her hot chips and store bought pouches for every meal because I know she will eat it.

Here’s the truth, the crying when I leave the room, the clamouring to get on the couch next to me and the tears when someone new walks into the room is what is the hardest right now. Constantly being needed is exhausting.

But, here’s the truth, she is the sweetest, most determined, deep thinking and feisty baby I’ve ever known. She has impossibly big brown eyes and soft curly hair and she didn’t have a choice in me being her mama but she needs and wants me to be. I on the other hand did have a choice, in everything, and I chose her. I am so lucky to be her mama and I need to remember that more. I also need to remember that like everything hard before this, it will pass.

I need to play and interact and cuddle and be there and comfort and cook and cook again and cook something else. I need to try harder and be more and give more because she deserves it. And that’s the truth.

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